A Little Girl's Pain

I needed you to hold me
Mold me
Show me how to be.
I am a small reflection of you.
Did you ever love me?

I needed you not to tear me down,
But build my esteem.
Judging me pound for pound,
Wishing I was lean.

I needed you to be a little more assertive,
And take me from my dad.
Who dressed me and treated me
As the son he didn't have.

I needed more berets and dainty lace socks,
Along with skirts to replace tube socks.

I needed you to show me how girls dress,
Maybe I wouldn't have worn so many sweats.
To teach me to be comfortable with myself,
Talk to me about the feelings of growing up you felt.

I needed less perms, rollers and hair pressin',
Come to my games support your investment.

I needed your approval not your expectations,
I needed not your temper but your patience.

Show me how to wash and love my body,
Tell me what's a cycle and explain it's not naughty.

I needed you to validate my feelings,
Help me define who I am.
Let me cry be by my side,
Just plain ole give a damn!

o.n.e.i.
copyright 2001

Swimming In Space

I fall further into an abyss
The mist grows thick
Escaping into a mental bliss
I curb my fist
Onto a pencil
UtensilI use to peruse
The abused battered places
Appearing as an oasis
Spaces unapproved for safe dwellingI'm telling, you all
What it feels like,
The fall

The pain skint my brain,
Causing me to write
When left I came.
On winter seasons, demons,
Intersecting insane,
Parallel to hope,
Perpendicular to pain.
Telepathic communication
Is not in vein.
Clairvoyant symbolism within my plain,
Field of view,
Lost some of you, in love and war
Controlled real young so my mind is sore
Hard too the core
I soar
Even in the abyss I see the door.

o.n.e.i.
copyright 2001

The Pit

Standing in a bottomless pit
I lit a match
The sulfur turned it black
So I'm back
at square one
Standing in a bottomless pit
I am one
With darkness
knowing of thisDarkness lacking knowledge
Standing in a bottomless pit
No light feels quite sufficient
TwirlingWithout cognizant direction
Providing correction
Not even the brownness of my complexion
Gives me affection
Self-persecution found in confusion becomes amusing
Perusing past trails I get lost and fail to recognize
The pattern of Saturn when matter in of fact
I can't bring it back
Looking at the bottomless pit
Standing with a match I lit
The path suspended in animation
I ask those who wear the mask
how can I cast
A vote of hope to those who can't cope
Stranded
In a pit to grope
Fanatically scope without guidance
Nor rope to pull them under or out
The pit
The bottomless pit
Has a mouth
Swallowing us whole full of doubt
We shout
As if church was about
Sanctified service do I deserve this route
Standing in the bottomless pit
But how?
If it has no foundation
In the bottomless pit
HE SPARKS CREATION.

o.n.e.i.
copyright 2001