Lost Thoughts

Lost Thoughts
I lost my thoughts in the waters of baptism.
Ate my ideas with communion drank away my hopes
Smoked up my goals and snorted away my dreams.
Shot up my inspiration fell out of the house in desperation
With numb love
The kind that don’t come from above.
Never touched or validated
We waited,
Equated dollar signs
To I’ve made it!
Got a car, a house, loot and shot hoops.
Intelligent mind like mine
Like phat corna dimes
Confused in the mind can’t keep time
Except in rhyme, I lost my thoughts
But I’m not behind

o.n.e.i.
copyright 2000

A Little Girl's Pain

I needed you to hold me
Mold me
Show me how to be.
I am a small reflection of you.
Did you ever love me?

I needed you not to tear me down,
But build my esteem.
Judging me pound for pound,
Wishing I was lean.

I needed you to be a little more assertive,
And take me from my dad.
Who dressed me and treated me
As the son he didn't have.

I needed more berets and dainty lace socks,
Along with skirts to replace tube socks.

I needed you to show me how girls dress,
Maybe I wouldn't have worn so many sweats.
To teach me to be comfortable with myself,
Talk to me about the feelings of growing up you felt.

I needed less perms, rollers and hair pressin',
Come to my games support your investment.

I needed your approval not your expectations,
I needed not your temper but your patience.

Show me how to wash and love my body,
Tell me what's a cycle and explain it's not naughty.

I needed you to validate my feelings,
Help me define who I am.
Let me cry be by my side,
Just plain ole give a damn!

o.n.e.i.
copyright 2001